[I wrote this post mostly on my way back from Christian Tissier sensei seminar in Stockholm, Sunday 20th April 2008 and it came out more in a “story” version, than just a common blabbering post.. That’s why I put it in the “My Story” categories]
I’m sitting on the bus, on my way home. Pain everywhere. A great weekend until now. And it is still sunday. At home there is still time for a nice afternoon with my gorgeous girl. And her exam preparation.
Pain in my left arm where that big guy grab my gi in katadori and twisted all the way, as his life was depending on that grip. Blue spots. Ugly. Normal. And I felt so good, even better, performing an almost perfect technique when just I wanted to tell him “don’t squeeze in that way, for fuck sake!”
I’m sitting on the bus and I feel my thighs: pain; my calves: pain. My feet, toes: super pain. Especially the toe that got twisted during Erik’s seminar. But no pain during iriminage. No pain during that ai-hanmi ikkyo ura. No pain when I managed ushiro ryotedori ktegaeshi in the way that is almost Tissier sensei trademark: pang-pang, low movement, do not let uke get his balance back.
I’m sitting at the airport now, chocolate and cognac for my girl (and myself). I feel my neck: pain. I feel my shoulders: pain. I feel my wrists: writing and holding this small book are a good stretching exercise. But no pain when with my dear friends Pedram, Svein, Bob, Tina and Kamilla we ate a great Japanese meal at Kimama. No pain maneuvering chopsticks. No pain lifting the second Guinnes glass at Molly’s. Aikido, pain and friends.
I’m sitting but I’d rather sleep. Impossible night. No snoring but I was afraid to miss the alarm and at the same I did not want to disturb the others with it. But it never happened. I got tired to lay down and went out earlier.
I’m sitting now thinking to Tissier sensei words: intentions and abilities must converge to a realistic target. Was he talking about Aikido? Life? Was it katatedori gyaku hanmi kotegaeshi? Or just my daily task, like losing weight? Practice for my nidan? Improving my private life? Keep the center line, he says. Do not struggle, he says. Do not try to move beyond the maximum you can reach, he says. From that point, something else must change. Inside you, me. Was that Aiki talk? Is it?
I am sitting.. and they are calling my flight.
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