Time and fear

23 09 2011

How much time do you need to pass from good feelings and hope to be able to practice again Aikido at a good level and with good frequency without feeling like an old man, to sadness, frustration, disappointment and again some hopeless fear?

I tell you: very little time, the time to take off your socks, from both feet, and with a huge surprise see that the socks left on the skin a depression, like a groove, where the elastic was holding on to the leg  (old and cheap socks, not so hard elastic!). That was the same as when the right ankle became completely swollen, but still foot and lower part of the leg are not in that condition. Just swollen enough to leave a very noticeable mark on the skin.

After last weekend practice in Shanghai I was feeling quite positive about the medicines and treatments I am using to handle my RA. 2 sessions, not too much ukemi, but still some seiza and some good Aikido and the pain in the knees was bearable and especially it disappeared quite fast.

I had a great massage for upper body and legs from one of the guys in the acupuncture shop, and yesterday I went for a good sauna.. and that’s when my little state of positive thoughts fell down, crumbling in front of an unexpected reality.

Also I have no pain at all in the feet! They are just swollen..

These days I feel maybe some stiffness in the knees at work, when spending many hours sitting or standing in the same position, but nothing too bad. It is a little more than before I got the big inflammation in the right knee, but I have had before troubles with my knees and this is ok.

Tomorrow I will go to Wuhan, second time, for more practice. I planned 2 sessions (out of 3 possible), and they will be much more demanding than last weekend in Shanghai. Many quite high graded and extremely well trained boys looking forward to kick my @$$ 🙂 It is supposed to be a nice weather weekend with temperatures still close to 30 degrees C over there, more or less like here in Hefei these days.

I cannot afford to get seriously injured again but I want to move more my body on Aikido mats. Anyway, I will be careful, too much to lose if I over-kill my body!

Can it be that I am becoming a little more mature??? 😉


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One response

24 09 2011
Mel Shead Meru Fumoto

Been there and done that. Sometimes one needs to take a step back, give one’s self some breathing space and time, then take a sideways step in order to move on. If you don’t know what I mean, you will after you have done it. Brawn is limited with a willing body, But courage is infinite with a willing mind.
Take care Andy.

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