The weight of a secret

9 05 2012

During last night my girlfriend’s mother has died after a long troubles period because of cancer. She was a very young and energetic woman I had the pleasure to meet during CNY 2011, just a few years older than me. She leaves husband, a daughter and a much younger son.

I was introduced to her as a foreign friend of the daughter that is a language university student, not so strange then that she knows laowais. But we were already together at that time and we are still together now, even if almost no one of her friends and absolutely no one of her relatives knows it.

The large age difference together with the huge cultural difference would never make me an acceptable partner for **. Also the family is quite close to traditions and do not expect the daughter to have a boyfriend before the end of university and maybe even starting a job. A job that should possibly be closer to home (a smaller city than Hefei in Anhui province as well).

So those days celebrating CNY in her home, surrounded by her family that treated me as a guest of honor it has been both amazing and a made me feel like a big fat liar.. a fraud betraying their trust.. and I admit I considered for some time my relationship with **. But she wanted to keep going staying together..

..and these days I would have just liked to be there with her, for her. And say goodbye to her mama..

But it was not possible.



2 responses

9 05 2012
Alicia Tsao

i’m sorry to hear this.


15 05 2012

I’m sorry too.
Take good care of ** when she will be back.


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