Prandelli: I have only 1 doubt..

15 06 2012

(This is about Italian football, therefore one of the most important aspect for the life of any Italian!)
Like this the Italian national football team trainer before the match they had to win in order to hope to get through the first phase of the European 2012 tournament. After a terrible world cup in 2010 it seemed a reasonably good team and a reasonably experience, well prepared and independent trainer could take back Italy to some of the deserved results.

The first match Balotelli (aka Super-Mario, but he deserves the nickname more for the bullsh*t stuff he does off field than for the way he plays) and Cassano (aka Brufolo-Bill, for his face full of pimple), the attack pair, did not so well together: Balotelli is a spoiled and childish and crazy (90% of the time) and brilliant (10% of the time) top player, paid too much and with too many thoughts for his tiny brain; Cassano, used to be a vry good unconventional player (meaning, also spoiled, unnerving and crazy.. he wasted so many chances in his life..), but then he did not play about 6 months this year for a health problem. Prandelli, Italian coach, showed courage making this Italian team and giving trust to difficult players like these 2, players that out of their genius should be the one changing a match..

Should.. but they are not (yet for Balotelli, anymore for Cassano? Who knows!).

So after the first match where the trainer changed Balotelli for old and convincing and practical forward Di Natale (enter, touch 2 balls, then score!), and I was actually among the few people that would have preferred to keep Balotelli on the field and change Cassano, it seems Prandelli wanted to make at least one important change for the second match as well. And he kept repeating to Italian journalist: “I have only one doubt for the match with Croatia”.. a match that we had to win! And, my god, we played against Croatia: all the respect, but, Croatia!!! Not Brasil!!! Croatia #21 UEFA ranking; Italy #4 (according to FIFA though, Croatia is 4 positions ahead of Italy..oh, then it’s ok, good we did not lose!)

Everybody thought the doubt was: who will stay out to let Di Natale be part of the starting 11? Or should finally De Rossi play as midfielder since he is among the bests there? These were the the kind of questions we Italian supporters were expecting.. But no.. apparently this was not part of Prandelli thoughts..

Waiting to see if another “biscotto” after the one in 2004 will send us home again from an European tournament, I want to try to guess what this doubt was about.. maybe some readers can contribute as well (any language!!):

Should I drink white or red wine with the dinner food?
Should it have been better if Casssano had used the word
culattone instead of frocio? Should I wear boxer or underpants?
Should I shave before or after the shower?
And when take a dump?
Should I wear it on the left or right side?
Should Balotelli color his hairs yellow or not?
Should I get out from the bed with the left or right foot?
Should I tell all the journalist that it is not true there are a couple of homosexual in the national team, but it is true there is 1 not homosexual and it is not me?
Should I bet that Italy goes home after the group qualification or ask my wife to do it?
Should I tell my players or not that maybe it is better to score more than one goal per game?
Are Poland & Ukraine one or two countries?
Why that idiot of the Italian team trainer did not bring a real forward able to score when necessary? Who’s that idiot, I’ll kick his @$$! Oh. no.. wait.. Am I that idiot? Maybe..
Should I have told my players during the break that winning is better than not? Is Balotelli able to run? Able to shoot? Able to score? Still able to play football? Who cares, he is such a nice kid, why should I not let him play how, where and how much he wants?
Should I wear a brown-shit or violet-puke tie?
We got here with a defense with 4 player, should we maybe use it again? Monday night I’ll be able to start my holidays: mountains or sea? Does Thiago Motta understand Italian? And Cassano?
I was sure I had taken with us one of the best central midfielder in Italy, Daniele De Rossi, I think, but where is he? Did I send him back with Criscito?
What was the number of that pretty Russian massage girl offering happy ending?

And just for Italians, maybe the biggest doubt Prandelli has and will always have:
Ditemi perche’ se la mucca fa “mu” il merlo non fa “me”??

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