My effect on people and things!

5 06 2015

Newton’s law of universal gravitation states that any two bodies in the universe attract each other with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them:

Therefore anything inserted in a pre-existent system will have an effect, contribute to some changes, that can be at micro-level or at macro-level, depending on the consistency of the new body.

I have realized that I do affect as well the environment around me, in some very peculiar ways.. not big galactic changes as it could be a star imploding in a hopefully far away solar system, but still my presence in close vicinity to human beings, animals or things provokes changes.. alterations of reality.. subliminal, physical and metaphysical modifications of nature.. all enough to be perceived.. at least by me!

My effect on males:

  • anyone suddenly becomes so much more cool, handsome, funny, popular, attractive, confident, interesting and available when side by side with me;
  • some men get taller, lose weight, the hairs grow faster and more stylish, the breath smells so good that girls start kissing them passionately (usually the girl I have been talking with for a few hours trying to work my way through..);
  • idiots suddenly appear as best conversation companions in the whole world (or at least in a 3 meter radius around me), and, why stop at talking, right?

My effect on females:

  • their period starts, unexpectedly most of times;
  • sudden headaches are not uncommon, especially when it comes time to go to bed;
  • even with totally disinhibited girls usually interested to sleep with any male crossing their path or feeling excited and half way out of their clothes when a complete stranger just smiles at them, they completely lose sexual drive when I come around;
  • on the positive side, I can make girls smile, laugh (sometimes too much, uncontrollably, but with a face like mine what can I say..);
  • I am a proven insomnia cure: best medicine for falling asleep especially when spending an evening together;
  • school projects, home works, studying, exam preparation, marks, results are again a major priority in every day life.. at least for the time I am around!

My effect on animals & children:

  • they always feel comfortable with me: animals & children do like me a lot! Probably because they see someone very close to them, that thinks in the same way, that behaves in the same way..

My effect on things:

  • computers (laptop in particular) find a fast way to death;
  • iPhones die as well;
  • the weather changes: clouds seem to accumulate faster over my head than uniformly over the sky;
  • in a thunderstorm, do not come stand close to me..

So, for experimenting, throw me in a room full of different people, animals and things and see things happening!



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: