Amsterdam Valentine

14 02 2017

Love to the city – love to the friends – love to the sky – love to this light…

Love yourself (more or less literally up to you)





Conversation with a ghost of the past life

8 02 2017

I have written this story on a small sheet of paper sitting in my usual spot in my usual bar, alone as usually, but completely relaxed, enjoying the noise around me and feeling in complete peace with myself. It is good sometimes to be a ghost lost in a crowd..

– In the previous life we were a couple
M – Were we?
– Yes
M – And how was it?
– It was good, great even from time to time. We had 2 kids, 2 girls
M – 2 can be tough
– You know that, right. But 2 can also be awesome
M – Was it awesome for us?
– It was for you.. when you left me
M – Did I?
– Yes, and it had been the right thing to do
M – Was it?
– I loved you and the girls with all myself.. but it was not enough
M – What was missing then?
– Loving myself as well, accepting myself, stop thinking I should have been better
M – Could you?
– I tried and failed, and drunk myself away from my failures, or at least I thought I could get away
M – Was it worth?
– I gave you a chance for a better life when I was over, when I was done… so yes, my failures gave you freedom
M – Did I really want that freedom? From you? Have you ever asked this to yourself?
– I was taking you down with me, taking the girls away from happiness because of my egoism
M – Have you not being selfish killing yourself?
– Have you been happy afterwards?
M – …
– …
M – I missed you in the past life, the girls missed you
– But then they found again happiness, you found happiness.. they forgot me, you forgot me
M – Have you found peace now?
– I see the past, my errors, the present, I see you.. I am content
M – But not happy
– Happiness is overrated
M – Fuck off
– I loved you. I still do. I will always do.. in my way
M – Fuck off
– Are you happy now?
M – Yes, I am
– Then stop talking and let me enjoy your smile.. so I am happy too

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The Seventh Day…

31 01 2017

…he rested.. I mean, I rested, finally! Yesterday.. yeah!

During the weekend, feeling quite tired at practice in Belgium with Kuribayashi sensei, and going to bed relatively early Saturday night after the dinner event, I realized that I have been practicing quite a bit this month. Every day since last Tuesday (no practice on that day). At least, a bit for my own self, nothing compared with my aiki-bro Aikifreak. More or less like the Stavanger days, but there I was teaching most of the classes and it is quite a big difference, especially here in Amsterdam, between being instructor or not.

19 training days this month and my condition is far from optimal. The elbow inflammation and the probable knee bursitis are following me from last months in 2016 to now. But it was ages I did not practice that much in a month, and none of these days was a full teaching session.

A couple of weeks ago I had a bike incident, smashing on the frozen tarmac after misjudging the height of a step and try to “jump” with bicycle and all, I had landed on the same knee already in pain and for some strange Aikido reflex I had managed to not smashed the left arm on the ground when I bent the handlebar:

bike handlebar re-work

bike handlebar re-work

An accident due to 80% stupidity, 10% iced road and 10% bad luck..

Funny thing is that after the crash both knee and elbow seems to improve.. Fight fire with fire?

…but the not traditional healing method did not really stick, and nowadays I have started thinking to get back to some more traditional cures, that wouldn’t require to crash again my poor bike..

In the close future I see some more very active weeks coming and I am quite happy. I have planned to attend interesting seminars where I will meet amazing people on the mats and have more chance to test my body and mind. Last Aikido year had been fantastic. I have hopes and I trust this year will be equally great.. but I have to improve my own condition. Learn how to recover faster as well.

Tuesday’s are my days of rest but unfortunately it’s almost sure I work overtime every single one. But I also promised myself to stop on the way home at Bukowski bar, my oasis in Amsterdam. Often alone I sit in my spot, have an occasional chat with the people working there, check my Instagram or social places or write my blog… like yesterday night….





Sweet Monday!

31 10 2016

Monday can start in a completely different way when you got a colleague who is baking such great cakes!

sweet monday

peanut cheese cake





1 year anniversary 

25 10 2016

Exactly one year ago I moved to Amsterdam after about two years in Utrecht. 

last step of the move: my first beloved bike (stolen after less than 2 months 😭)


No regrets at all, I should have maybe done it before even!

Morning in Amsterdam

It helped that the company I work got also moved here but since I had already chosen the place for the love of my life, Aikido, I would have moved anyway… eventually… 

I’m just a tiny bit sad that friends who visited me when I was in Utrecht have not been back now that I moved. A few did come back, and saw I also managed to learn some of what this city can offer.. still hope someone else will also come back for a weekend of exploration of the beauty of Amsterdam. 





Unfit

13 10 2016

Last week I had to stop practice after the first hour and it was a bit annoying: I have a couple of physical problems that are carrying longer than expected, and a few too many thoughts on my mind, that are also not helping.

During a first hour of several beginner techniques, working especially on ikkyo and with no throws at all, I had to compensate a lot a problem with one knee that is forcing me to avoid as well all suwariwaza work. That is boring, but last year, more or less in the same period I had the same problem, that went away with some rest..

hope... for something better....

hope… for something better….

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Autumn colors

5 10 2016

Autumn colors..

..sometimes the way to work is not bad at all..