(Attention: this post contains obscenities, strong language, lots of swearing and much pain!!! Especially for my brain!!!)
I went for one day trip for a special occasion to Hefei, 合肥, a not so big town (for Chinese standard) located 550 km West of Shanghai. The occasion required formal clothing, so I had prepared myself in the proper way.
I traveled there the night of Tuesday, choosing a soft sleeper cabin and it went very well. I was sharing a 4 people cabin with only another guy, very silent, very sleepy and very NOT snoring!
Also the guy from the train came in to wake me up a good half an hour before my destination (I had anyway set my alarm. you never know!).
I was in Hefei 6am in the morning, so I walked a bit around and I enjoyed seeing the morning exercising of several old people, involving for many Tai Chi Quan movements or different forms of dancing! So cool! So China!!!
The day passed more or less as expected, and then back at the station for the return trip.. the hellish train K8485.
First of all I noticed I was the only foreigner in the whole station.. and then when I got on the train, with my quite nice clothes and very very foreigner face, I have been looked at and made fun of for quite some time.. The train reminded me the long trips to south Italy by train, that I took not so often, but I still clearly remember: people everywhere.. with huge bundles of clothes or bags of luggage. I had reserved a seat but I sat in another place because the woman on my seat did not want to move.. Traveling seat less is the common and cheaper and moving for a foreigner? No way! But the change of seat was lucky: my neighbor ended up being probably the only other person on the train able to speak English!!!
This train is a sort of local and it was a garbage dump! I have actually heard before about Chinese trains, but you don’t believe it before you see it!!! So, people is used to throw everything on the floor, from empty packages to food waste.. to.. spitting! Charming.. So th guy in front of me was eating sugar cane and spitting the waste on the floor: ok, he actually had a plastic bag down there, but let’s say his aim was only a 50-50 true!
But that ok.. respect to a couple of other people continuously spitting on the floor: ok, they “pick up” or “clear up” the spit with the sole of the shoes.. but, yeah, you know, charming!!!
A couple of times during the trip a man with a big broom comes around and collect the waste, put in a garbage bag, leaking from the waste liquids (nuclear waste is probably safer!) and carry along the corridor.. main goal: do not get your shoes splashed! Charming, uhm?
My neighbor was nice enough to even translate some of the jokes that an especially insistent traveling worker was making on me, lǎo wài (foreigner), 老外, that cannot speak Chinese.. I could live with that, smile and wishing him hemorrhoids and pain in urination, but I admit that being treated as a fucking foreigner invading other people country and not even speaking the language is.. a teaching lesson.. just after 3 or 4 jokes, the asshole could go and get to fuck himself with a sugar cane..
Thank god he left after only 4 hours of pain.. because, as you can notice from the schedule of the damn train K8485 the trip required more than 8.5 hours..
All the charm you can have on this Chinese train began to be a bit annoying after the 5th hour.. My new friend, my neighbor, left in Suzhou, 苏州, 80 km from Shanghai: 80 km that took 2 f***ing hours!!!! How is that possible, you wonder? Me too, when I saw the train was on time in Suzhou and scheduled for 2 hours after in Shanghai and I had been told that the distance was little!
I tell you how: the bloody train K8485 is for the damned: right after Suzhou station it stopped for more than 1 hour to let all the other speed train pass, speed trains from both directions, with even 15-20 minutes interval between each other!!!! Amazing..charming.. bloody hell!!!
I start losing my mind after 30 minutes.. a fat chick seated back to back with me bouncing on her seat made it impossible to even sleep.. so my mind raced a multi language swearing contest with.. the air around me.. I won.. I think!
Only nice thing, a very cute girl in a nearby seat.. too thin? never too much.. and the body was very cute.. unfortunately not a word in English..
I reached the hotel in Shanghai dead tired, feet in pain and brain damaged.. more than before I mean!!!!
What an experience!! A new one for my lonely trips around the globe