In an attacked London

4 06 2017

I am safe… 

…but strange feelings seeing the images of the attack a few kilometers away from where 3 piece of shit killed 6 and injured 50 people that were enjoying their life on a Saturday night…

Sad…





The return of a nightmare

22 05 2017

This morning, 4 am, I woke up, suddenly, in pain: the weight of the duvet on my right knee was enough to send jolts of pain through my nervous system.. and after a few hours, when it started swelling and the slightest touch was equivalent to deep pain, dark thoughts of “The Return of the Watermelon Knee” jumped in my mind and during the day the thoughts became unfortunately reality.

right knee swelling


Besides being in the Netherlands with almost no access to the Chinese products that cured me last time (yeah, no cure from what I got, RA is the only companion for life I will ever get), and not even the first round of pain killers that had proven very useful at the worst time of the swelling period, I have a very busy week in front of me preparing 3 even busier weeks when I will travel for work around Great Britain to give hands on training to different hospitals.. standing and talking activities.

I wish I could find a laowai friendly hospital that could prescribe me again the Tibetan herbal tablets I got then in China and used for a really long time. The only solution is scavenging among the bags of medicine I brought back from my short life in China and see what I manage to put together for a fast hopefully good effect.

leftovers of the magic Tibetan cure


I consider myself having a pretty high pain threshold but today I cried actually twice. I had forgotten the full inflammation pain and the return of it has been a quite traumatic awakening. 

In the next days I need to contain this pain and manage to control it. From next week I got pretty important work tasks that will require me standing most of the day when not walking pulling heavy cases. 

I wanted challenges right? Here they are… be careful what you wish for…

The first challenges were biking tobanf from work but especially walk three flights of stairs to get to my room at home. 

Habits are also painful. I always step into my hakama first with the left foot and I always mountvmy bike from the left side, therefore passing over the right leg… that is bending my swollen and inflamed right knee: the sudden sharp pain pain was definitively a good call to pay more attention!

my hakama

After the ice and evening rest I try to follow the other two rule of the recommended R.I.C.E. procedure: Rest – Ice – Compression – Elevation. 

knee elevation on the loft ceiling of my room


If I were a bat I’d probably be certainly better tomorrow… since I’m not I’m more curious about my weekend to come in Prague…





Amsterdam Valentine

14 02 2017

Love to the city – love to the friends – love to the sky – love to this light…

Love yourself (more or less literally up to you)





Conversation with a ghost of the past life

8 02 2017

I have written this story on a small sheet of paper sitting in my usual spot in my usual bar, alone as usually, but completely relaxed, enjoying the noise around me and feeling in complete peace with myself. It is good sometimes to be a ghost lost in a crowd..

– In the previous life we were a couple
M – Were we?
– Yes
M – And how was it?
– It was good, great even from time to time. We had 2 kids, 2 girls
M – 2 can be tough
– You know that, right. But 2 can also be awesome
M – Was it awesome for us?
– It was for you.. when you left me
M – Did I?
– Yes, and it had been the right thing to do
M – Was it?
– I loved you and the girls with all myself.. but it was not enough
M – What was missing then?
– Loving myself as well, accepting myself, stop thinking I should have been better
M – Could you?
– I tried and failed, and drunk myself away from my failures, or at least I thought I could get away
M – Was it worth?
– I gave you a chance for a better life when I was over, when I was done… so yes, my failures gave you freedom
M – Did I really want that freedom? From you? Have you ever asked this to yourself?
– I was taking you down with me, taking the girls away from happiness because of my egoism
M – Have you not being selfish killing yourself?
– Have you been happy afterwards?
M – …
– …
M – I missed you in the past life, the girls missed you
– But then they found again happiness, you found happiness.. they forgot me, you forgot me
M – Have you found peace now?
– I see the past, my errors, the present, I see you.. I am content
M – But not happy
– Happiness is overrated
M – Fuck off
– I loved you. I still do. I will always do.. in my way
M – Fuck off
– Are you happy now?
M – Yes, I am
– Then stop talking and let me enjoy your smile.. so I am happy too

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The Seventh Day…

31 01 2017

…he rested.. I mean, I rested, finally! Yesterday.. yeah!

During the weekend, feeling quite tired at practice in Belgium with Kuribayashi sensei, and going to bed relatively early Saturday night after the dinner event, I realized that I have been practicing quite a bit this month. Every day since last Tuesday (no practice on that day). At least, a bit for my own self, nothing compared with my aiki-bro Aikifreak. More or less like the Stavanger days, but there I was teaching most of the classes and it is quite a big difference, especially here in Amsterdam, between being instructor or not.

19 training days this month and my condition is far from optimal. The elbow inflammation and the probable knee bursitis are following me from last months in 2016 to now. But it was ages I did not practice that much in a month, and none of these days was a full teaching session.

A couple of weeks ago I had a bike incident, smashing on the frozen tarmac after misjudging the height of a step and try to “jump” with bicycle and all, I had landed on the same knee already in pain and for some strange Aikido reflex I had managed to not smashed the left arm on the ground when I bent the handlebar:

bike handlebar re-work

bike handlebar re-work

An accident due to 80% stupidity, 10% iced road and 10% bad luck..

Funny thing is that after the crash both knee and elbow seems to improve.. Fight fire with fire?

…but the not traditional healing method did not really stick, and nowadays I have started thinking to get back to some more traditional cures, that wouldn’t require to crash again my poor bike..

In the close future I see some more very active weeks coming and I am quite happy. I have planned to attend interesting seminars where I will meet amazing people on the mats and have more chance to test my body and mind. Last Aikido year had been fantastic. I have hopes and I trust this year will be equally great.. but I have to improve my own condition. Learn how to recover faster as well.

Tuesday’s are my days of rest but unfortunately it’s almost sure I work overtime every single one. But I also promised myself to stop on the way home at Bukowski bar, my oasis in Amsterdam. Often alone I sit in my spot, have an occasional chat with the people working there, check my Instagram or social places or write my blog… like yesterday night….





2016 aikido seminars

31 01 2017

Wrap up of an year of travelling/training for Aikido (a little late)

15 – 17 January: Strømmen, weekend seminar with Bachraty sensei
22 – 24 January: Dusseldorf, weekend seminar with Lyly sensei
20 – 21 February: Jakarta, weekend seminar with Irie sensei
12 – 13 March: Ho Chi Minh, weekend seminar with Irie sensei
15 – 17 April: Dublin, weekend seminar with Irie sensei
22 – 24 April: Trondheim, weekend seminar with Lyly sensei
14 May: Stockholm, “Female Touch” day seminar @ Vanadis
20 – 23 May: Stavanger, weekend seminar with Kingston sensei (Dayto Ryu Aikijutsu)
11 – 12 June: Prague, weekend seminar with Noel sensei
19 August: Duisburg, one session with Ruben sensei
20 – 21 August: Duisburg, weekend seminar with Lyly sensei (bokken seminar)
2 – 4 September: Oslo, weekend seminar with Kuribayashi sensei
18 September: Amsterdam, one session with Dijkman sensei (ukemi seminar)
21 September: Amsterdam, one session with Yamashima sensei
23 – 25 September: Hannover, weekend seminar with Lyly sensei
14 – 16 October: Bratislava, weekend seminar with Ariga sensei
21 – 23 October: Santa Cruz de Tenerife, weekend seminar with Irie sensei
12 November: Trondheim, one session with Nevelius sensei
18 – 20 November: Heggedal, weekend seminar with Lyly sensei
25 – 27 November: Vienna, weekend seminar with Endo sensei

…and to add to all this serious and top level seminars, I had a short one myself:

9 – 10 January: Trondheim, weekend seminar with aikidude 🙂

Less weekend seminars than in 2015, but more practice altogether with 2 great periods in Asia (Japan+Vietnam and Indonesia).

A great time on the road anyway…

Untitled A long road

…and 2017 has already started in full speed and great time..





Thing do not always go as one would hope!

23 01 2017

Thanks to Stefan for the funny link and the great time in Dusseldorf 🙂